I love my boys. I love being a mum to boys. I'm sure I'd equally love being a mum to girls, but two sons are what I have and they are my world. They bring me nothing but joy (and sleep deprivation, and chaos, and mess, but hey, let's not dwell on that). Boys are awesome and I am a lucky mama. So why do so many people say stuff that implies that life has somehow short-changed me? As if I need a daughter to make my life complete? Here are some of the things that have actually been said to me, and some of the things that other bloggers, friends and readers have had said to them too.
Annoying Things People Say to Mums of Boys
"I bet you want a girl this time. You must want a girl because you're so girly." Said by a friend during my second pregnancy.
"You will have to have another one so you get a girl!" From a well-meaning (?) relative after announcing the birth of my second baby boy.
"So, what did you have? Oh dear. Never mind." The disappointment from my next door neighbour upon hearing that I'd had a second son.
"Maybe you'll be third time lucky." Said the random woman in Tesco who stopped to peek at my toddler and sleeping baby, and asked if baby was a girl.
"I don't envy you, boys are so messy!" Not as messy as my darling stepdaughter, let me tell you dear stranger at toddler group!
"Boys are so much harder/easier/whatever than girls." Said by the world and his dog. Enough with the gender stereotyping thank you please!
And it's not just me. I posted on Facebook and Instagram to see if others experience this, and guess what? They do! Here are some of the gems that other people have heard.
"Another boy! What you trying for a football team?" Said to Beverley, mum of three.
"Lucky you getting a boy and a girl! When I had my second and it was another boy I felt like moving out!" Said to Lucy, mum of two.
"We want a girl this time", "keep trying until you get a girl." Said to Jo, mum of three.
"So you'll be trying again for a girl?" Said to Laura, mum of two.
"You'll be old and lonely when they get wives and girlfriends." Said to Jen, mum of two.
And it turns out even if you do have a mixture of boys and girls, the comments keep coming!
"Ooh perfect, one of each." Said to Emily, mum of two.
"Lucky you, you'll have the pigeon pair", "I bet you're happy", "no need to have a third now." Said to Loz, mum of two.
"You'll have to have another boy, you can't leave Luka as the only boy." Said to Susanne, mum of four.
"You've got a gentleman's family, you don't need anymore as you've got one of each." Said to Emma, mum of two.
So it seems whether you have boys, girls, an even mix, a complete jumble or just the one, people will always have something to say!
Ugh!!! People can be so dickish without even realising it, it's quite astounding! x
ReplyDeleteAs a mummy of three boys now I get these all the time, when expecting number three all I had was Ohio bet you wish it's a girl, do you think it's a girl, one was what will you do if it's a boy!!!! I love being a boy to three crazy but wonderful kind boys #sundaybest
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe what that person in Tescos said to you, so rude! Children are blessings whatever their gender xx #sundaybest
ReplyDeleteMy first was a girl and I must confess I wanted a girl but of course I would have been just as in love with a boy after 2 miscarriages one quite late I was scared I would never be a mother so to have a healthy baby was all I cared about! My second was a girl too, I was so happy as I adore my sister and was glad my girls would have each other and after another miscarriage again I was just so relieved to have my two baby girls. I didn't find people saying anything negative to me at that point, but when I was pregnant with any 3 oh my gosh the comments came from anyone and everyone I mostly got people saying how much Steve (my hubby) must really want a son. And how disappointed he would be if I gave him another girl! It was so frustrating and just so rude. They were pushing their opinions onto us. My husband never had strong desire to have a son, in fact he was more than happy to have another girl. I didn't know what we were having we chose to not find out as it really didn't matter to us. My father in law made it clear he wanted a grandson to carry on his name though. We did have a boy and I love my son beyond words, but still I would have loved third girl just as much. I feel so blessed to have 3 healthy happy children after loosing 3 pregnancies. I sometimes get made to feel guilty that my son will never have a brother! But after nearly dying when having my son I can't risk another pregnancy, and we are so blessed already. #sundaybest
ReplyDeleteI despair. I hear many negativities and comments such as "ahh what a shame" about my son who has learning disabilities. It's not a shame, he's still a viable human being! Two sons, two daughters, a son and a daughter...all children are amazing so ignore the idiocy. A xx
ReplyDeletePeople can be so rude - I'd never say anything like that. I'm always careful what I say about pregnancy/babies because you never know what situation people are in. Some people really don't think before they speak! x #SundayBest
ReplyDeletePeople really don't think about what they say sometimes, do they?
ReplyDelete#Sundaybest
Yep I had the comment in a hotel this morning when saying I was having a second girl. " Will you try for another?" Why? To possibly have another girl?! Madness! People just don't think. Thanks for hosting lovely xx
ReplyDeleteSo much love for this, though as Sarah says I bet it's the same for the mums who have two girls. The thing I would never want having a third (even if the husband let me!) would be for the third to think we were only after a girl if they were a boy! Children have feelings and they can hear and understand the stupid comments people make xxx
ReplyDeleteDo you mean to say that you have never said any of these things yourself? Ever? Come on now.
ReplyDeleteHuh? Nope. Why would I?
DeleteYep, when pregnant with Little Mister H I lost count of all the people who told me that having one boy and one girl was the dream! After having all the miscarriages just having a healthy pregnancy was a dream. And I'd convinced myself that we were having another little girl. That I couldn't carry boys. I was thrilled at the idea of having two little girls. Then at the 20 week scan our baby had boy parts. We were shocked but delighted. Now I can't imagine life any other way. Thanks so much for hosting #SundayBest. Sorry it has taken me so long to comment. It has been a manic week. Hugs Lucy xxxx
ReplyDeleteHaha yes so annoying! I have 3 sisters and 1 brother and my mom told me once that when she was pregnant with my brother that people were saying "ohh finally a boy" and that she felt really bad about it, like if it would be another girl she would have been any less happy... #twinklytuesday
ReplyDeleteIt is crazy isn't it. Although sometimes I think people just want to engage with us and it seems and easy way to do it. #twinklytuesday
ReplyDeleteI smiled in recognition with these comments. I have 5 boys. #TwinklyTuesday
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteI get this all the time, especially from my own mum! in fact she is the worst. She would 'joke' the entire way through my pregnancy that twins run in the family, oh and 'imagine if you end up with a BOY' Jesus. I mean, You can't order, this ain't Papa Johns love!
Honestly, I hear it all. We have 2 girls, so its always "I bet Dan would like a boy now" Actually no. We can't face another pregnancy / newborn / toddler shitstorm thanks, so we are good with 'JUST GIRLS'!!!
Love love this post xxx
#twinklytuesday
I have three boys and get this all the time. We bought a dog recently and the comments have been upped now to things like "As if you hadn't you work cut out for you already", "A dog AND three boys?!", and so on.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness I completely relate to this. I have two boys, and when I found out I was having my second boy, so many relatives seemed actually disappointed he wasn't going to be a girl. I am sick of hearing 'I wish you had a girl, they're easier to buy for' 'Whens baby number 3' 'Do you think you're just destined for boys then?' It's horrendous and unfair to push their upset on to me. I couldn't be happier raising my brood of boys, plus I like being the only girl in the house?
ReplyDeletehttp://babiesandbeauty.com
#TwinklyTuesday
Totally! I'm a mum of two boys, 12 and 7 years old, and I've heard almost all of those! So many times people have asked when I'm going to have another (I'm 35 now, that's not happening!) just to be in with a chance of having a girl! I'm happy with my lot thank you very much!
ReplyDeleteGreat post hun.
#twinklytuesday
Everyone hoped I had a girl because my husband is one of 3 boys so there has never been girls in the family....but we got a boy! which I was happy with :) #twinklytuesday
ReplyDeleteWhen we adopted our two we had 'now you'll have a complete family!' as though having two boys or two girls wouldn't complete us! How very odd people are! #TwinklyTuesday
ReplyDeletePeople always have to comment on the gender of your children don't they? I've got one of each and everyone has always said how lucky I am. The thing is I'm lucky to have two kids. They're healthy, we're happy and they both get through a LOT of dirty nappies and sleepless nights!! #twinklytuesday (Topfivemum)
ReplyDeletePeople always tell me I'm lucky having a girl and a boy - I'd feel equally lucky if I had two girls or two boys!! #twinklytuesday
ReplyDeleteI get this. Have a boy baby girl due November. Ooo one of each aren't you lucky. Ooo I bet you wanted a girl.
ReplyDeleteI actually loved the idea of two boys.
I just love the fact that I have two boys! When we found out Oscar was a boy at the 20 week scan and we phoned the families, my mum screamed in delight because she adores boys whereas the mother in law said oh that's a shame! Errrm, no! It's not a shame - I always wanted Zach to have a brother! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
ReplyDeleteOh yes! Completely I am a mum of two boys. If I was honest I would say I was expecting one of each as both hubby and I are one of each. Apparently do did so many others ... We are so blessed both boys although loud, messy, head strong and constantly grubby are happy and healthy. We couldn't ask for anything more. Stopping by from #twinklytuesday
ReplyDelete"you'll be old and lonely..." Jesus! Some people really are morons! I have two boys and whilst I was slightly hoping for a girl as my second, purely down to the baby dresses I'd seen in Next, I wouldn't change it for the world. We are the lucky ones x
ReplyDeletePeople are so rude! I have two boys and a girl - the girl came last and I wasn't trying for a girl, I just wanted three kids!
ReplyDeleteWhen my younger son was born, my mother-in-law, his own grandmother, initially didn't buy him any presents! Her exact words were 'If it'd been a girl, we'd have really gone to town'. That's the one and only time I've ever stood up to her - I told her he needed a coat (as he was born in a different season to his brother) and she realised her mistake and bought him a coat!
Gosh, everybody has an opinion on this, it does seem like projection on their part. I have one boy and we're trying for another next year. I'd be really happy with another boy. Equally as happy with a girl!
ReplyDeleteYou know I never thought about it but now that you mention it yes that so true. I guess didn't notice the comments much because I had PND. However I do remember my friends chuckling at how my son cried they thought it was cute. I didn't understand untitl I had my daughter (they had girls too) boy did she have a lungs on her. I enjoyed reading this :0) lovely post.
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